On Raising A Boy

I could not agree more with this article. But no regrets on raising one. I am sure all the mommies will agree to #10.

10 Things I Wish I'd Known About Raising A Boy
by: Holly Pevzner

When you have a girl, you know that you can always fall back on your own childhood memories to guide you as a parent. But unless you grew up with a brother, there's a good chance that parts of raising a boy can take you by surprise. From the sports obsession to the penis comparisons, here are 10 things I wish I'd known about bringing up boys.

1 There will be planes, trains and automobiles.
Even if you stock your nursery with mixed-gender toys like baby dolls and play kitchens, odds are matchbox cars and trucks will multiply on their own in your home, boats will line your bathtub and train track will loop around your floor. Little boys adore anything that flies, sails, drives, digs or mixes. “I could have never anticipated the amount of fun he can have with just a few cars,” said mom of two Dana McCranie. “I love watching his little fingers wrapped around two cars and imagining what he sees as he drives them around with animation and sound effects.”

2 Boys don’t stop moving. 
From the moment they come bouncing into your bed at 5:30 in the morning until they pass out at bedtime, boys go. Sometimes it seems like they have only two speeds — fast and faster. This means that your toddler could be sitting on the floor shaking a rattle one minute and when you turn your head, he will have summitted the dining room table. He may not ever slow down, but you’ll learn to pick up the pace. “Give them goals,” said dad of three Randolph RoVino. “Give them the tools. Give them encouragement to use the energy that they have. And have your sneakers on!”

3 Clothes shopping will be a piece of cake. 
A girl’s wardrobe can be sizable. But boys? Well, there are pants, sneakers and T-shirts. There are no outfits. Everything, essentially, goes together. “There may be fewer options in the store, but I’ll happily dress a boy over a girl any day,” said mom of one Bonnie Vengrow. “The palette is simple, the clothes are cute, and he’ll let me dress him with no fuss.”

4 His fascination with his penis starts sooner than you think. 
Chalk it up to the cave man instinct, but boys play with their penises practically from birth. (And those baby erections? Whoa.) Once he figures out it’s there, it’ll be everything you can do to keep his hands from drifting down there all the time. “I remember other moms warning me when I had my first son, ‘Don't worry if he touches his thing all the time. It's normal,’” said mom of two Melissa Phipps. “I'm still not sure if my 8-year-old is in the normal range, but whenever he had a free moment, he whips it out. Ironically, the only time he doesn't have his hand on his penis is when he's using the toilet and should be holding it to aim correctly. That's when it can't be tamed.”

5 Roughhousing is innate. 
Boys are physical. There's the jumping off furniture, the rolling on each other, the "hug" that turns into a full-body running tackle. It's often how they connect and express affection. “My sons constantly have to touch each other and be near each other,” said mom of two Stacy Genovese. “We recently finished our basement and it’s a huge playroom but yet they both have to play right on top of each other and then it’s the inevitable ‘He hit me!’, ‘No, he hit him first!’” Exhausting? Yes. Normal and healthy? Absolutely. This kind of physical interaction can foster positive relationships, boost the body's feel-good chemicals and promote intelligence — even if it means stuff around the house is going to get broken.

6 You’ll probably make a trip to the emergency room. 
There are boys and there are coffee tables and these two things often add up to stitches. You will learn to anticipate the most dangerous risks (and you might want to buy cushioned corners for the coffee table before your son can even pull up), but there will be a time when you're just a second too late and you land up driving to the ER. Don’t blame yourself — it's a rite of passage for all boy moms. “It's hard not to feel ashamed when it happens, but don't worry. Other parents sympathize,” Phipps said.

7 Pee will be everywhere. Everywhere. 
On the floor. Behind the toilet. On the wall. All over the seat that they neglected to lift up. Apparently, it takes time and an attention span not to spray the entire bathroom while urinating. “Peeing everywhere never stops — argh!,” said mom Shirlie Sharpe. “The only thing that changes is that as they get bigger, their range increases.” Your best bet: Keep some Clorox wipes at the ready and remind yourself that unless there's poop involved, your child won't ever need to sit on a dirty public toilet seat. Oh, and it's incredibly easy for them to pee behind a tree in the park.

8 You’ll learn not to compare your son to girls. 
Watch a girl the same age as your nonstop ball of energy sit quietly and use glitter glue for 45 minutes and you may want to cry. Girls often reach milestones earlier and excel at many essential school skills like reading and, er, sitting still. “The girls in my son Ian’s class and the daughters of my friends are way more advanced than my boys,” Genovese said. “They’re just more aware of the world around them. One friend with girls the same ages as my boys said, ‘For me, it’s all mental. For you, it’s all physical.‘ And that’s exactly right.” Boys can also approach things differently, which is part of the fun. Case in point: “My girls never thought to make puzzles in the nude!” said mom of three Gina Ferrara.

9 The goofiness starts early. 
There will be days when you watch your son with his friends and you just won't get it. Boy humor can be extra goofy and the potty humor starts as soon as they can talk. “Who knew the love of fart jokes was part of a boy's development?” said Phipps. “At some point after learning to talk, farts will be all your little one talks about. I am not sure when the phase ends.” So trust that you will be told that your dinner tastes like poop. You'll be called poopy head and poopy pants. If you laugh (and it's often hard not to) or scold, you just give the poop talk more value. So try to keep a straight face at least until you can vent on Facebook.

10 Boys adore their moms. 
There's a strong and consistent love that comes from boys from the get-go — and stays there through the long haul. “Whenever you come home, it’s like being a rock star in your own home,” Genovese said. Phipps agrees, “The thing I will miss most when my boys grow up is the adoring way they look at me and stroke my face and hair. They are such little romantics. I will say to my 6-year-old, ‘You're cute’ and he'll respond ‘You're cuter!’ It almost makes it worth being the only female in an all-male household.”

Hello July!

And just like that, we are already halfway through the year. It has been pretty slow and steady during the first half, especially with a baby on the way. Coping with morning sickness has been terribly hard for me compared to my first experience. It has indeed weighed (figuratively and literally) me down a lot. I feel like I have been on voluntary house arrest for a looong time. But now on my second trimester with all the pregnancy sickness gone, I can say I am 80% back. I am trying my best to get back to 100% normalcy, if there is even such a thing in the motherhood realm. I am just glad and thankful that I have good househelps who can lend me a hand on this journey and help me stay sane. Like everyone else, I am hoping they stay long until my kids are old enough, but that’s wishful thinking.

Anyway, if there is anything that I am looking forward to aside from giving birth to our second child (it’s a girl!) this October, I also cannot wait to move in to a bigger house (yey!). I cannot say if this is our dream house just yet, but we are excited to be given this wonderful opportunity. The house is really more for the kids—to let them enjoy a bigger space to run and play. I really hope our house will turn out the way we imagined it to be.

Four to Two

Since I came from a big family, I knew I wanted many kids of my own someday. I initially wanted four kids, five tops. But I have been thinking hard about it lately. The number of kids I now want to have has dwindled down to a drastic two. Give or take, maybe three. I don’t know if it is even practical (and logical) to have many kids these days. Aside from rising costs rising and fast disappearing good helps, ultimately I want to provide good quality life to my kids. I want to be hands on and devote my full 100% to each of my child, which is less likely to happen when there are more than one (much more three or four) kids around. I could wait and allow for a wider age gap, but I’m not sure if my body clock will still allow it. Hehe I used to not understand couples who announce that they do not plan on ever having any kids or that they just want few kids. Now I am beginning to understand why they do. Reality check, past the red roses and all, it is not always easy especially for those who are not comfortable with the idea of leaving their children under the care of househelps/yayas 24-hours. I, for one have not grown accustomed to leaving my kid with the yaya the whole day. While I trust and depend on my yaya, I still try to supervise and be there (or have a family member stay with him) as much as possible. I actually have a pretty good setup for now. I can work (and go out) regularly and leave my kid with my mom or sisters, but when the time comes the second one arrives (still planning though), I am not sure how this will work out. And since I think too waaay ahead, I am not sure how even a third one will pan out. Well, unless I become a full time/stay at home mom, which I think isn't for me either. Just thinking about it is already making me stressed. That is why I have decided to cut down on my dream number and focus on having two kids (for now).

Being a Parent

I am going to post all the good reads I find online in this blog so I have something to go back to and remind me of parenthood when the time comes (which is still very far from now. Hehe). I can really relate to each of the nine things mentioned in the article; it's very spot on.

9 Things I Didn't Know I'd Love About Being a Parent
by: Kaylee Scottaline

Despite having a well-stocked library of What to Expect and other "guide books" to being a mommy, there was admittedly a lot I didn't know before becoming a mommy. I addressed a great deal of those lessons here.

But, as I watched my daughter tonight, learning how to put the crown back onto her head after having taken it off, I felt myself smile from deep inside. I'd watched her pull things off of her head for the better part of a year now. This was nothing new. But putting them back on? Yet another new skill kiddo is rapidly getting under her belt. And I was proud. And at that moment, I realized there's a whole other list of things that no one ever told me I'd love about being a parent:

1
When your child learns a new skill, you will be as proud of them for learning how to put a pink, felt crown on their own head as you would be if they'd just cured cancer. (Clearly, not nearly as important in the grand scheme of things, but that's the point. Being a parent means becoming insanely proud of things like going pee pee on the potty).

2 
Your child's face will burst into pure delight from simple things like hearing and seeing the water draining from the bath tub. And this delight on your child's face will cause your heart to damn near explode from joy.

3 
You will actually learn to function on no sleep. And you will stay up voluntarily at night just to hold your child a little longer and feel her breathing against your chest. You'll even wake up earlier than necessary for work in the morning so that you can manage to squeeze a snuggle session into your morning routine.

4 
You won't bat a short, naked eyelash at the fact that you can no longer afford your expensive makeup or skincare products because you have to pay for baby care items instead. One long whiff of your child's hair and none of it matters at all.

5 
Your life will turn into a Broadway show where even going down the stairs requires a song and a dance. And these daily, impromptu performances will be the most rewarding performances of your life.

6 
You will love this little person more than you have ever loved yourself. Every decision in your life going forward will revolve around your child.

7 
The sound of your little one's giggle is all you need to put even the worst day behind you. And a snuggle and unprompted kiss? They can wipe out a whole week of bad. 

8  
You won't remember how you ever survived making dinner without having a kitchen dance party, singing into a wooden spoon. In your socks and pajamas. At 5:30 p.m.. And you will have so much more fun than you ever did at the club.

9 
You will look at your child and feel as if a piece of your heart is walking outside of your body. Because it is.

Let's be honest; being a parent is hard. It is the most difficult and important task any of us will ever undertake. It is also the most rewarding. The contagious smiles, infectious laughter and the bright twinkle in my little girl's big brown eyes is more than enough to make all of the sleepless nights worthwhile. What no one ever told me about being a parent? That I would give life to a child but that child would remind me what it means to live.

Donya Problems

Getting married has taught me a lot of things—keeping house is one of them. Now that my husband and I live on our own, the groceries, utility and household bills (and househelps) has taken up a huge chunk of not only our pockets, but also our time and energy. It is especially stressful to tend to the househelps. It is not that easy to find a good help these days. And when you do find a good one, it is equally stressful when they decide to leave. Who are you to stop them from finding greener pastures right? Sometimes I am so tempted to just not hire anymore. Not only will it do us good financially, it will also give us a lot of peace of mind. I wish I could say I do not need them. But I do. That is the harsh truth. As much as I want to be self-sufficient, I can’t. I need someone to help me with my toddler. I need someone who can take care of the house so I can work or have some alone time. If it was two years ago when it just me and the hubby, I can confidently do without a help. But it is a different story now as we have a toddler and we are planning to have another one. As much as I hate to say it, I am dependent on them.

I wonder how Western families do it. They are able to get by without any helps at all. They are able to juggle everything—work a living, keep house, and tend to the kids, then squeeze in some “me” time somewhere in there if possible at all. Phew! It sounds tiring right? As I have noticed, most Western kids are more independent than their counterparts because they are taught and exposed early on, whereas, kids here are more dependent and sheltered (even until they reach college!). I have always wondered maybe if I was brought up without any household helps, today will be entirely different. Say what household helps?

For now, I have to adjust and slowly train myself to be more self-sufficient. It is actually easy. What is hard is the sacrifice that you are going to have to make for yourself—for example, time to watch your downloaded shows in bed versus time to wash the dishes? Time to sleep in more versus time to feed and bathe the baby? Yes there are trade-offs. Househelps make our life easier and convenient, but then they also give us plenty of headaches. As they say we can and cannot live without them. I cannot wait for the day when I can really say that I don’t need them anymore.

Happy Birthday!

We celebrated Rafa’s 2nd birthday last January 3. We initially didn’t want to plan anything as we wanted to have just a simple dinner with the family. But we ended with a swimming party instead. I am lucky to have an aunt who generously agreed to host the party at her place. It was also timely we had relatives from Hong Kong who were in town. All of my nieces and nephews combined makes one noisy (and fun!) party. More than anything else, aside from celebrating my son’s birthday, it was a nice family gathering. It was good seeing everyone enjoying and having a happy time. I am also grateful our cake supplier agreed to make his Mickey Mouse Clubhouse themed cake even if it was such short notice. It was a hectic day but I think the little boy enjoyed his special day.

Rafa's Cake

                    

Willie the Giant

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Topper Cupcakes

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

On Turning Two

Rafa is turning 2 in January. I'm amazed at his development. He is a smart boy. He learned his ABCs, 123s, colors, and shapes early. I think being hands on helped a lot. Ever since he was a few months old, I would play with him using flashcards and books, every single day. My friends were amused because they felt I was very matiyaga to do this. They would ask me if Rafa would even understand at a very young age. I answer, maybe or maybe not. But there's no harm in trying. Fast forward to a few months after, I'm surprised Rafa has taken a lot of interest in books and flashcards. He doesn't really play with his toys much. He likes playing with his ABCs and numbers more than his toys. It is very evident in all of his flashcards and book as it is well-used; some already tattered and torn. I also noticed he can grasp concepts easily and his memory is very sharp. This has led me to think that early teaching (even just the simple showing of flashcards) indeed plays a big factor. We sometimes take for granted that kids will not understand us, but never underestimate the power of a child's (or a baby's) mind. They say the first four years of a child's life is where they can learn and absorb things fast. That is why we have to take that window of opportunity to teach them, as this will also help shape and form their values later on.

Easy to say right? With so many things to do and errands to run, it is very tempting to just turn on the television or give them the ipad instead. It sounds convenient but it isn't in the long run. Although I admit I also do turn on the tv and give into the ipad occasionally, but only when I really need to do something important. I always make a conscious effort to allot time to teach and guide Rafa when he plays. It took a lot of adjustment for me at first (as it is with everything related to motherhood) since a huge chunk of my time and energy is devoted to him. But it was only when I consciously decided that I was going to prioritize him first above anything else and that, THIS is what matters the most to me that I stopped struggling with everything. It was when I accepted my reality that I cannot conquer the world all at once that I soon began to enjoy motherhood. Perhaps I just need to take a back seat, enjoy, and make the most out of this particular season of my life. Seeing Rafa grow into the boy he is now makes me the happiest and proudest mom. I could not ask for anything more.